“Blaming Women’s Clothing!

Religious hardline groups in Bangladesh still blame women’s clothing for rape

Those who say rape happens because of a woman’s clothing
Close your eyes and kick them hard in the groin

A poet once wrote this. Of course, no one should literally kick someone just because they blame clothing, even though such people collectively help create a culture that excuses rape. In many countries, on buses, trains, schools, colleges, and universities, women dress in ways that reveal much more of their bodies. You will often see a strong young man sitting right beside them. How many of them go around harassing those women? It is natural for a heterosexual man to feel attraction toward a woman — but if he cannot control himself, then instead of letting him roam in public spaces, it makes far more sense to keep him in jail.

Many conservative men in Bangladesh believe that men become uncontrollably aroused simply by seeing a woman’s body. They imagine that in Western countries people live in such extreme permissiveness that “character” no longer exists. That’s why you’ll notice: you may be talking about space exploration, and someone will comment, “Westerners spend all day having open sex…” You’ll see such comments even under political posts, educational posts — anywhere. They bring it up every time.

This comes from their daily frustration. When they realize they cannot attract the kind of partner they desire, they console themselves with fantasies: “This world is temporary; we are here only for a test. After death, we will get eternal paradise — hundreds of beautiful heavenly maidens, youthful attendants, gardens of dates, and women inviting them to bed.” Lost in these fantasies, they imagine that those who will supposedly burn in hell forever are the ones enjoying paradise on earth right now. In their imagination, when they land at a Western airport, they expect to see stunning half‑naked women standing on every street corner, ready to pull them inside and sleep with them. Morning, afternoon, night — they imagine endless sexual encounters.

This frustration spills out in real life — in parks, hotels, on Valentine’s Day — where they mob and harass couples. It gives them a bit of emotional release, some income, and a chance to insult the West for free: “Western open‑sex culture won’t be allowed here!”

But in reality, Westerners barely have time for such things. Life is expensive; people work from morning till night just to manage. With such exhaustion, where is the time for constant sexual activity? In Bangladesh, many people spend most of their day gossiping and idling — they have endless time. But sex is an art — far more mental than physical — and how many of them understand that? We often hear that many women do not even experience orgasm with their partners.

In many Western countries, when a man and woman live together — whether married or as partners — if certain conditions are met, both are entitled to shared assets. Remember when Bill Gates divorced his wife? He had to give her several billion dollars. That’s why maintaining a partnership in the West is difficult and comes with responsibilities. Many people choose to live alone rather than take on that commitment. You also cannot buy sex openly on the streets or in hotels the way it happens in many places in Bangladesh.

If women and sex were truly so easily available in the West, then why would so many Bangladeshi men and women who go there for work or study still return to Bangladesh to find marriage partners? It’s natural — people usually seek partners within their own culture, language, and background. Except for a few exceptions, humans are genetically inclined toward partners from similar groups. But instead of admitting this, some claim they avoid Western partners because of “Islamic values.” They don’t admit the truth — Western women simply do not choose them.

In Bangladesh, the amount of extramarital, deceptive sexual activity that happens in hotels and private homes is far greater than in the West. There, people have far fewer opportunities to cheat. If two partners are incompatible, they separate — but cheating while still in a relationship is rare. Who sleeps with whom is considered a personal matter, as long as there is no coercion or deception. Forcing one’s own partner to have sex without consent is considered rape or sexual assault. Even making suggestive gestures toward someone in public can be a crime. If your stare is perceived as threatening, you can be arrested. That’s why you don’t see “eve‑teasing” there. Even if a naked woman walked alone at midnight, no one would touch her. A working woman does not fear walking home alone at night.

In Dhaka, if a working woman walks alone at 8 PM near Chandrima Udyan, several men will try to lure her into their homes. I have a friend who is a police officer; I used to go out with him late at night to observe the city. I know what happens in a country full of self‑proclaimed pious men. I’ve seen lines of men waiting by the roadside to slip into makeshift tents for sexual encounters.