Bengali Loves!

How many types of love are there and what are they?

1. First love: The first love of life remains memorable to everyone. There is no specific age for first love, but for many people first love comes at a very young age. Most of the time first love is not actually love, it is Infatuation. First love can be a childhood friend, can be a private tutor or a school teacher, can be an older sister, can be a film hero or heroine, can be some handsome young woman in the neighborhood or an older brother. For some people, the first love of life is again the only love.

2. Love at first sight: This type of love begins at the very first sight. In many cases this kind of love is one-sided. This type of love is seen more in boys. The first sight can be at a wedding ceremony, shopping mall, college, university, coaching center, at sir’s house, in a friends’ hangout. Even seeing a picture on a friend’s mobile can start this kind of love. In this type of love, almost inevitably the help of a third party (friends or older brother) is needed. In the beginning of this kind of love, physical beauty and bodily attractiveness play the main role.

3. Love from friendship: In this type of love, the lover and beloved are both friends at first. Gradually, with the evolution of time, the friendship starts to turn into love, often without either of them realizing it. However, the people around (especially friends) notice it clearly. Sadly, this kind of love often ends prematurely through a one-sided decision or mutual understanding. Many cannot accept this transformation of friendship and suffer in regret – especially girls.

4. One night stand: It would be a sin to call these love. In 90% of cases boys are the organizers of this type of love. The main purpose of this love is to fulfill physical desire. Before fulfilling the purpose there may be some nominal dating. Popular places for fulfilling the purpose: some hotel, an empty flat, a city by the sea.
This type of love has the main motto: “Love me today, but never again……..”

5. Post-marital love: This love is seen only between husband and wife. Right after marriage, for the first few months this love remains intense. When two people who were not previously acquainted become husband and wife through an arranged marriage, this type of love is observed in strong form. There is a theory that when marriage happens through love, post-marital love declines, but its truth has not been tested. There is no match for a honeymoon in cultivating post-marital love.

6. Extramarital love: After marriage, love with any man or woman other than the husband or wife is called extramarital love. The main reasons for extramarital love are:

a. Over time, disinterest or bitterness towards married life.
b. Boredom with husband or wife in fulfilling physical needs.
c. Inability or insufficiency of husband or wife in fulfilling physical needs.
d. Purely a love of adventure, the desire to feel the taste of secret love.

Among women, extramarital love is still not as popular in this country as it is among men. In the case of men’s extramarital love, the third person is usually a younger woman, sometimes even a young girl. In the case of women, the third person is generally a middle-aged man. Extramarital love is widely observed among people aged 30–48.

7. Immature love / love at a young age / love without understanding: This type of love usually happens while studying in school. Girls fall into this type of love more. However, boys also fall into it. Both lovers can be of the same age. But in the case of girls, the lover can be older than her. However, the success rate of this type of love is low – that is, this kind of love very rarely reaches marriage.

8. Workplace love: This type of love develops through the acquaintance of two people due to work. The two people may be two officers of a multinational company or partners in some project. Among the male officers in an office, there is eagerness to establish such a love relationship with a girl who has just joined the office. This type of love is seen more in private institutions.

9. Mobile love: This type of love begins by establishing contact with a girl by borrowing a number from a friend, stealing it from a phonebook, collecting it from the neighborhood flexi shop, getting it from some other source, or simply creating a number by mixing the sweetness of one’s mind and calling it. Many times, after talking like this on mobile, the boy and girl meet face to face. The success rate of this type of love is very low. In fact, in most cases success is not the main purpose of this type of love.

10. Internet love: This type of love begins through acquaintance between two people via chatting on the internet or on social media sites (such as Facebook, MySpace). In many cases, either the boy or the girl lives abroad. After such acquaintance, the boy and girl meet face to face. In this type of love, both parties have a lot of opportunity to deceive. Many times a boy pretends to be a girl and maintains such a relationship with another boy. And so in many cases this type of relationship turns into fraud. Previously, the success rate of this type of love was higher, but in recent times the success rate has decreased.

11. Triangular love: This type of love can be called a tug-of-war between two boys over one girl. The main point of this love is the love of two boys for the same girl. Both boys are desperate to get that girl. In triangular love, girls often suffer from mental conflict – about whom to choose. Many times the competition between the two boys turns into fighting. Triangular love is also observed between two girls and one boy. However, in that case the competition does not turn into fighting but into hair-pulling.

12. Polygonal love / multi love: The attraction of more than 2 people towards the same girl or boy is basically polygonal love. In this case, the girl or boy is naturally the owner of eye-catching beauty. Everyone wants to be in love with him or her, and this gives that person immense joy.

13. Age-disparate love: The characteristic of this type of love is a significant age gap between the lover and beloved. Although it is considered normal love if the boy is a few years older than the girl, if the difference is very large – for example 12 years – then it is considered age-disparate love. Interestingly, even if the girl is just one year older than the boy, it is considered age-disparate love. In this society, age-disparate love is looked at with a crooked eye, especially if the girl is older than the boy. There is a theory in this country that if age-disparate love turns into marriage, married life does not remain peaceful, but no evidence has been found to support this.

14. Physical love / body-centered love: Physical attraction between the lover and beloved is the main element of this love. Emotion is not so important.

15. Money-centered love: “As long as there is money, there is a relationship” – this type of love develops largely based on this principle. Of course, in these cases it is the boys who spend money. Boys from wealthy families can maintain this type of relationship for a long time. But boys with moderate income get exhausted quickly under the pressure of expenses, and the relationship does not last long. Then those girls go in search of other boys.

16. Jealous love: “That boy is in love, I must be too” or “She has a boyfriend, I want one too” – this type of love begins from such a mentality. These loves are often temporary. Most of the time, even if the boyfriend or girlfriend is not to one’s liking, the relationship is continued out of necessity.

17. Stubborn love: This type of love is done somewhat to show off to a previous or current boyfriend or girlfriend (“Even without you, I have no shortage of people to love me…….”) by falling in love with whoever is found in front. The matter of finding someone to one’s liking is negligible here.

18. Exploitative love / donkey-labor love / mill-pulling love: The purpose of this type of love is to gain some special benefit from the lover or beloved. The meritorious student who gets good results in class is considered a popular prey in this case. This type of love is seen more among girls, though boys are also sometimes seen doing it.

19. Unexpressed love / unspoken love: Even though they silently love each other, due to circumstances, time or lack of courage, neither the lover nor the beloved ever tells the other. The pain of losing unexpressed love is very agonizing, it remains as one of the biggest mistakes of life.

20. Latent love: This type of love is when two people love each other but neither is telling the other, the whole matter is being kept hidden. If latent love remains latent for life, it turns into unexpressed love.

21. Contractual love: This type of love happens through mutual understanding. In the general sense of love, what is understood is absent in this type of love. These relationships have no future. The main purpose is to show love among themselves to some particular group and thereby fulfill some special interest. This type of love is seen more among showbiz and media stars.

22. False love / acting love: In this type of love, either the lover or the beloved acts out love. When either the lover or the beloved starts thinking about the future, this love comes to an end. The outcome of this type of love is very painful for either one.

23. Second innings love / Old is Gold love / revived love: This love is done by reconnecting with a previous boyfriend or girlfriend.

24. Blackmail love / unwilling love / forced love: It would be a sin to call this love as well. These loves are done by force. Girls are the ones who become victims of this. The neighborhood thug or older brother, the college thug student, the superior officer or boss at the workplace – mainly they are interested in establishing such relationships.

25. Imposed love / persistent love: In this type of love, the girl is not interested in establishing any relationship, yet the boy keeps trying hard. Many times in such situations girls cannot say no directly, and they have to pay the price later.

26. Foreign love / expatriate love: In this type of relationship, at least one of the boy or girl is a foreigner.

27. Non-communal love: In this type of love, the boy and girl belong to two different religions or communities. Society does not support such relationships. Especially love between Hindu–Muslim boys and girls creates more controversy.

28. Sensational love / talked-about love: In this type of love, whatever the lovers do is broadcast in the media as sensational information. Generally, showbiz and media stars and celebrities engage in this type of love.

29. Historical love: The stories of these loves ended long ago but still remain on the pages of history. These loves are still shown as examples.

30. Hired love / wandering love / roaming love: In this type of love, the lovers practically work on hire. They are someone’s girlfriend in the morning and someone else’s in the afternoon. There is no fixed address. The matter is somewhat like changing mobile handsets every month.

31. Loving Love: In this kind of love, the lover and the beloved gaze at each other lovingly for hours, sit holding hands in the dim corner of some restaurant, and never get tired of saying and hearing “I Love You.” After spending the whole day together, they still don’t reduce their mobile conversations even after midnight.

32. Quarrelsome Love: Constant bickering between the two is the main feature of this love. They may stay calm for a while, then suddenly one of them starts again over something trivial. These quarrels are short-lived but very frequent. Most of the fights happen over the phone. Friends are always busy settling their disputes. The girl often tells her friends about these frequent quarrels.

33. Same-Sex Love: Although not very common in our country yet, this type of love is widely accepted in many other countries. When it happens between two boys, they are called Gay, and between two girls, Lesbian.

34. Mismatched Love/Out-of-the-World Love: In this love, the lover and the beloved have no similarity in conversation, opinion, likes, or dislikes—nothing matches. Yet somehow the relationship survives.

35. ‘Still Love You’ Love: In this love, the lovers have already separated. Yet they still love each other. Silently they long for the person with whom they could not spend their life together because circumstances were the only and biggest obstacle.

36. Failed Love: And finally, there is failed love. This love ends even before it begins. The number of failed lovers is several times higher than failed beloveds. Failed love usually ends with rejection of a proposal. Sometimes boys get slapped, girls get hit with shoes, and sometimes even face mob beating. Often the consequences of failed love are tragic. Some become Devdas, some lose trust in women and conclude “all women are the same.” Those with weak mental strength sometimes choose the path of self-destruction.

[ Love is highly variable and its definition differs from person to person. And it is normal for some to disagree with the categories I have given. I am not claiming that all types of love have been mentioned here, but many types have indeed been discussed. An attempt has been made to remain as neutral as possible while describing the categories. If this effort seems audacious to anyone, I apologize. ]