Rape under the lure of marriage?

Rape of an adult woman on the promise of marriage – this is unacceptable

So far, those who have threatened me, even with death threats on Facebook, are almost all spiritual followers of Mr. Mamunul. Yet I do not agree with the definition of rape in this case. Against Mr. Mamunul, a case of fraud could be filed. He has made many dangerous statements – plans to create anarchy in the country, inciting the killing and humiliation of dissenters in various gatherings. These are serious crimes that could justify cases against him. But apart from the major deception with Jannat Ara Jharna, I do not consider this rape. Below is the status I posted on October 9, 2000.

When in a relationship with a man, you – as a woman – may go to bed only out of physical desire, not because of promises. If you believe so deeply in the culture of marriage promises, then wait until marriage. Listen: a promise is a relative matter. Until you understand that, know that you are not yet mature enough to go to bed. Do not prove yourself a personality-less fool by saying, ‘He used me.’

Instead of making complaints, correct yourself. Be intelligent as well as emotional. Be tender as well as tough. And if you are truly brave, learn to enjoy your body too. Complaints are tiresome – stop complaining. When a girl with the highest university degree comes to me and says, ‘Sister, he used me by promising marriage and then left,’ I feel ten times more anger at the innocent sister than at the man.

Since you believe in marriage culture, you should have waited until marriage. Drop the flimsy definitions of women’s liberation and be strong. Either learn to enjoy every moment responsibly, or firmly hold to your belief until marriage. You cannot simultaneously seek shelter in traditional social norms and also destroy them. Choose one boat.

And whether before or after marriage, limit the word ‘use’ in sexual relations to ‘condom.’ Do not foolishly play with the life of a child.

Bangladesh’s law also states that if a man has sexual relations on the promise of marriage and then does not marry, a rape case can be filed against him. If the girl is underage, then whether the promise is of marriage or of making her a billionaire, it is rape. But rape of an adult woman on the promise of marriage – that is unacceptable. Suppose you buy goods on credit from a shop and later do not pay. Can the shopkeeper file a robbery case against you? At most, a case of breach of promise or fraud can be filed. ‘Rape by showing the lure of marriage’ – this phrase is ugly. It trivializes a heinous crime like rape. When two healthy, normal adults knowingly unite, that is not rape.

Rape is a profound matter. To rape means to frighten, force, or pressure someone into sexual involvement against their will. In this sense, forcing even a wife or a sex worker is rape. Rape is a terrible crime, because the victim cannot easily recover. Physical pain may fade quickly, but the mental damage may never heal. Rape shatters a victim’s world, destroys their confidence, and the sense of humiliation haunts them for life. Perhaps mentally strong people can recover, but such people are very few.

When two adults unite with consent, all risks and responsibilities are theirs. If one deceives, the other may file a fraud case. But filing a rape case in such circumstances insults the reality of true rape cases.