Neelima, My Sister

Human relationships do not require a particular country, religion, nationality, race, tribe, or language

My sister Neelima lives in Andhra Pradesh, India. She is a scholar of the Telugu language and receives awards almost every year as the best high school teacher in her district. This sari was a gift from me, which I took with me when I visited her home in 2017. It was a very modest gift, but she wore it with great care and affection.

I first met her in 2016 on the way from Shimla to Manali. She and many others were my tour companions. After that, our relationship became so close that whenever I called her, she would cry because I was not visiting her home.

In June 2017, I suffered from chikungunya for nearly two weeks and became quite weak. At the same time, my travel plans for Kolkata, Goa, Kerala, and Andhra Pradesh were already set, with multiple flight tickets purchased and hotels booked. I had no choice but to begin the journey in that weakened condition, although somehow my body adapted to the demands of travel.

I was in Kolkata two days before Eid. At New Market, I saw huge crowds of Bangladeshis shopping until around 2 or 3 in the morning, with hardly any space to stand. On Eid day, I was in Goa, where I saw no noticeable sign of Eid celebrations. After that came Kerala, and then Andhra Pradesh.

When I landed at Vijayawada Airport from Kochi, I saw my sister Neelima and her husband waiting with their car. They had driven from three hours away. They had taken an entire week off for me. When I arrived at their home, I found that everything for me was new: bottled water, air conditioning, bed, bed covers, and so many other things.

I had the opportunity to visit various places in Andhra Pradesh, especially the magnificent Buddhist architectural sites carved into hills, many historic temples, a wetland filled with pelicans, and much more. The day of my departure was very painful for them.

All these memories are coming back now because it is the season of Bhai Phonta, while Raksha Bandhan has probably already passed. They are Christians, practicing Christians. I used to tell her that she was my God, though she would always try to explain to me how great God is and that she certainly was not Him!

In either 2016 or 2017, I suddenly received a huge parcel at my Dhaka address, sent from Andhra Pradesh, India. When I opened it, I found a rakhi, a large handmade decorative card, a handwritten letter, and several other items that I no longer remember.

Since losing my previous Facebook account from 2010, after repeated reports by pious Muslim brothers caused it to reach millions of people, I have lost contact with her. Even if I send her messages from this Facebook account, they probably go into the spam folder and escape her notice. Since my old Bangladeshi mobile number was reassigned to someone else, I no longer have her contact on WhatsApp either. A few days ago, I spoke with a Facebook Help Desk representative over the phone. They have placed my old account under review again, and I hope to get it back.

They do not have any children. A few years ago, they bought or built a new house, and they moved into it on my birthday. For a foreign freethinker and humanist, that was a tremendous expression of love and respect.

There is very little age difference between us. She tells me that she is my sister, she is my mother, she is my “sister-mom.” Many relationships in this world simply cannot be explained with words, and ours is one of them.

Our countries are different, our languages are different, she has a religion and is Christian, while although I come from a Muslim family, I have no religion. Yet human relationships do not require a particular country, religion, nationality, race, tribe, or language.

There is another elder sister figure in Bangladesh, in Khulna, whom I also came to know through Facebook. She is very religious. Sometimes she would block me because of my writings, and then later send me a friend request herself. But she remained firm about one thing. On my previous account, she often messaged me saying that when her only daughter, who was then in high school, grew up, she would send her to me in Canada. She believed that I could provide a good and safe environment for her daughter.

Once, after I recommended a younger brother to someone regarding mangoes during the summer season, he received orders for 950 maunds of mangoes within three days!

Although I am an atheist and a humanist, I have seen that religious people also trust and love many of us when it comes to honesty and ethics. They know that one defining characteristic of our personalities is that we are accountable to our own consciences, and their subconscious minds tell them that this accountability is even stronger than accountability to the creator of their religion.