Myths and Facts about Rape

Common Myths and Actual Facts Surrounding Rape and Sexual Assault

Myth: Never go out alone at any time. Women are most likely to be raped late at night, in dark alleyways. To protect herself, the best way for a woman is to avoid being alone outside her home.

Fact: Advising women to avoid walking alone, especially at night, is a common suggestion to prevent sexual assault. However, only 11% of rapes are committed by ‘strangers’. Women are raped in their homes and workplaces, where they are less likely to be suspected and less likely to report. This myth can control anti-rape movements and restrict women’s freedom. It can feel as though women live under a ‘curfew’, and that it is a woman’s responsibility to be indoors or outside only in a controlled manner at certain times. Nearly 90% of rapes are committed by men who are already known to the victim.

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Myth: Women who are sexually assaulted provoke rapists by the way they dress or behave; rape only happens to young women.

Fact: Many women are led to believe that if they don’t belong to a certain category of women, they are ‘safe’ from rape. Women and girls of all ages, classes, cultures, abilities, sexualities, races, and beliefs are victims of rape. Attractiveness has little relevance. Reports show a wide variety in the behavior and clothing of targeted women. Rapists choose women they perceive as vulnerable, not based on physical appearance.

Sometimes women see themselves as ‘undesirable’ or ‘unworthy’ due to their age or physical appearance and believe they are ‘safe’ from rape. Some men joke or comment about a woman’s appearance or age to suggest whether she is sexually desirable or available, or mention her appearance or age in court as part of their defense, implying she was not suitable for sex—sometimes even suggesting they ‘did her a favor’. But the reality is that women from age three to ninety-nine have been raped. Rape is an act of violence, not sexuality.

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Myth: Everyone knows when a woman says no, she often secretly means yes; women secretly want to be raped.

Fact: Rape is a terrifying, violent, and degrading experience that no woman ever wants or consents to. Legally, a person has the right to change their mind about sexual activity at any point during sexual contact. If a person says no and their sexual partner does not stop, it is sexual assault. Being in a romantic relationship or having had sex with someone before does not mean that person can assault or have sex with them again. Every time two people engage in sexual activity, both must give consent. Sex without consent is rape.

Myth: The woman was drunk / took drugs / had a bad character / wanted to get into another car alone / wore tight clothes / tempted him / probably got what she wanted.

Fact: If a person is unconscious or their awareness is impaired by alcohol or drugs, they are legally incapable of giving consent. Non-consensual sex with an intoxicated person is considered sexual assault.

Rapists use various excuses to try to demean the women they rape and justify their crimes. No woman wants to be raped or sexually assaulted. In rape cases, the woman’s character is often discussed more than the incident itself. Newspapers and media often refer to women’s roles in society—‘young mother’, ‘grandmother’, ‘doctor’s wife’, etc. If a woman’s role or status is not seen as socially acceptable, she is often blamed instead of the rapist. There are countless examples of this worldwide.

Many harmful customs imposed on women’s behavior allow rapists to shift the blame onto women wherever possible. In such cases, rapists often make hostile accusations against the victim, portraying rape as the result of the woman’s carelessness or ignorance. There is no other crime where so much effort is spent trying to make the victim seem responsible—imagine if courts scrutinized the character or financial background of a robbery victim.

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Myth: At some point, women enjoy rape and secretly want to be raped.

Fact: It is widely believed that women enjoy rape or that it is ‘just sex at the wrong time, in the wrong place’. Rape is a violent and degrading crime that may involve beating, physical injury, use of knives and sticks, urination, and defecation. Research consistently shows that most rapes involve some degree of physical force. Often, when a woman is raped, she fears she will be killed—rapists frequently threaten to kill the woman or her children to ensure her silence after the attack. Women do not enjoy sexual violence. Victims of murder, robbery, and other crimes are never told they enjoyed the crime committed against them.

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Myth: If a woman wasn’t injured or didn’t fight back, it couldn’t have been rape.

Fact: Men who rape or sexually assault women and girls often use weapons or threats of violence to intimidate them. The absence of visible signs of violence does not mean a woman was not raped.

Another myth that goes hand in hand with this is: “Rape is worse than death,” which is tied to the belief that women should always fight and resist. Facing the reality of rape, women may make split-second decisions to minimize harm. When initial resistance, struggle, or pleading fails, the fear of further violence often limits a woman’s ability to resist. In that moment, the only option available to her may be to reduce the damage.

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Myth: Men from certain races or backgrounds are more likely to commit sexual violence.

Fact: There is no typical category of rapist. Research shows that men who commit sexual violence come from every economic, ethnic, age, and social group. 90% of rapists are men known to their victims.

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Myth: Men who rape or sexually assault are mentally ill or monsters.

Fact: Studies indicate that only 5% of men were suffering from mental illness at the time of their crime. Some convicted rapists are referred for psychiatric treatment.

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Myth: The man was drunk / on drugs / depressed / under stress / not in his senses.

Fact: Men use various excuses to justify rape. None of these excuses are acceptable.

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Myth: Once a man is sexually aroused, he cannot control himself. He must have sex.

Fact: Research shows that most rapes are premeditated—either fully or partially planned. All gang rapes are always premeditated. Men can easily control their sexual urges—there is no need to rape a woman to satisfy themselves. Rape is violence, not sexual gratification. Men who rape or sexually assault are fulfilling a distorted desire for dominance, law-breaking, and control over others.

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Myth: Rapists are sexually frustrated / lack access to willing sexual partners.

Fact: Men who rape are just as likely as any other man to have sexual or meaningful relationships with women. More than one in five women are raped by their partners or husbands. Women who work as sex workers are often not recognized as rape victims by police, the criminal justice system, the judiciary, or society’s biased norms.

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Myth: Women often fabricate or lie about being raped.

Fact: Reporting rape or sexual assault to the police can be a difficult decision. It is currently estimated that out of 85,000 women raped and 400,000 sexually assaulted each year in England and Wales, only 15% report to the police. A major reason is that women fear they won’t be believed. Unfortunately, some sensationalist media outlets exaggerate the very few cases each year where women fabricate rape stories or make false allegations of sexual assault. In reality, this belief is entirely false. Over many years, research has shown that the rate of false rape allegations is no different from that of other crimes—around 4%.

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Myth: Women cannot rape other women.

Fact: Only a man can commit the crime of rape because penetration must be done with a sex organ. However, both men and women can be victims of rape. If penetration is done with something other than a sex organ, the crime is classified as assault by penetration.

Most sexual assaults are committed by men against women, but anyone can be a victim of sexual violence, and emotional, physical, and sexual abuse can occur in same-sex relationships as well. Often, when women are assaulted by other women, they fear they won’t be believed.